Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last. Cowards Do.

Being nice is great. You get to help people, make new friends and generally get along with others. Well, until you don’t stand a chance at getting that girl you seriously admire. For this reason, a balance is needed. You don’t want a situation where a girl constantly rebuffs your advances. What’s even worse, you’ll be seen as a ‘bestie’ fit only for the friend zone.

It can be different though. All you have to do is figure out how to stop being the nice guy.

A little backbone here and there coupled with an attitude that immediately reveals your worth, you’ll have your choice of women. So, read on and get rid of that “nice guy” label!

Get Your Self-Esteem Spot On

Let’s face it, there’s little you can achieve without enough self-esteem to keep you going. It’s all about knowing what you are and what you can bring to the table. For this reason, mental and psychological health is important. We’ve talked about this in the past for a reason.

What you think about yourself and your chances of making a relationship work with the person you admire shouldn’t give you the creeps. You need to find a way to gain a lot of confidence, erase the self-guilt and make it a point to be happy about being you. The fact is, you can’t fully love anyone without fully appreciating who you are and sharing that personality with that person.

It’s imperative you figure out how to drop the shallow thoughts and self-deprecating acts that impede value and practice self-esteem daily.

Stop Avoiding Confrontation

Confrontation often comes with a sort of stereotype and a lot of people don’t see how helpful it can be especially in relationships. But the fact is airing things out even when it leads to confrontation is a great option to mend wounds and further open up.

Also, a lot of truths get said during confrontations. Rather than covering things up, it’s much better to state your position instead of backing out in the name of avoiding confrontation. Most people think avoiding such issues promotes peace and helps their relationship last. They couldn’t be more wrong about that.

Confrontation is important but should be addressed in the right way. People may yell, strikeout or do something strange to vent out their emotions but that’s not a healthy way to deal with conflicting issues. For one, it’s great to listen and be listened to as each partner clearly states their side of the divide.

Secondly, no one gets to have everything going the way they want. A compromise is important without being seen as weak or always nice. There’s no relationship without conflict and you’d be passing up a good chance to do things right and shake the ‘nice guy’ tag when you avoid it.

Don’t Be A People Pleaser

You’re happy to lend out a helping hand at work and your relationship. You do all you can to make sure those you love get their way, often at your detriment.

Yet, no one sees what’s going on behind the scenes.

You’re left burnt out and exhausted.

Further, you take on more responsibility simply because you think the lady in question will give in or return your ‘love.’ Ladies can see through this charade and most would frown at it in a heartbeat.

Trying to please people at every given turn means the buck stops with you on all decisions. This is because you can’t blame anyone but yourself if things turn out badly. The catch is to be yourself. Don’t bend and twist to fit into other people’s idea of who you are, or should be. You’ll only get lost amidst all the hype, losing your personality and self-esteem along the way.

Learn How To Use The Word – “No”

Sure, you’re madly in love and can’t go a minute without thinking about that awesome person. Well, that’s no excuse to say yes to everything including questions and requests. You’d be adding being a ‘yes man’ to the ‘Mr nice guy’ tag. A deadly mix. Of course, you have time to do her that favor…but if you’re caught up with work, stuff with your family or something personal to handle, decline her request every now and then. Say no!

You can’t take responsibility for others, at least, not all the time. Neither can you solve every problem that comes your way. Even Sherlock Holmes needed some help!

Don’t let yourself be blackmailed or pressured by women into doing what you’re not comfortable doing. Being the nice guy opens you up to treacherous individuals who’ll take advantage of your kindness.

They won’t care how you feel even if it’s love.

The catch is sticking to your guns on different issues without feeling guilty you did.

Stop The Approval Seeking

It’s human nature to want recognition or some validation from others. It paints a picture of being liked or even loved. Who doesn’t like being loved? Everyone does. You’d have to be a complete asshole not to like the attention that comes with it. Being truly loved feels good.

But, you need to draw a line.

The fact is, not everyone is going to like you and the sooner you did away with the mentality of always seeking approval, the better for you. That mentality won’t serve you well in any relationship.

Ladies can smell this behavior a mile off…and they will gossip on the phone to each other about. Next thing you know, you’re the butt of their jokes when anything reminds them of that time she had you second guessing yourself in front of your friends.

What will eventually happen is your actions won’t stem from the love you have, but from the need to be appreciated and approved of.

If you’re interested in any woman, the secret is being yourself. Of course, you want to show her that you care and can be relied upon. That’s not bad. What is, however, is bottling your opinions and feelings to always let her have her way. Ladies love a bit of resistance and there’s something vaguely romantic about a man who doesn’t give in all the time.

You’d be seen as confident and stable emotionally. What more could a woman want? Women want men who know how to make decisions. Not a man who feels uneasy about every choice he makes. This will also take some practice if you’ve been doing this type of crap for a while. It’s all a mental game.

It’s okay to be nice but nice people hardly win on many fronts. Yes, they get some acclaims but it’s not enough if you’re in love and hoping for a fruitful relationship. Make some adjustments, be yourself and have ample confidence in your abilities. You’d get the girl of your dreams.

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