Self Confidence Determines Your Success

Fear of failure can be the ultimate cause of why you don’t achieve your goals in life. Job promotions, relationships and your overall dreams can easily become fantasies if you don’t apply the main ingredient needed — self confidence.

How many times have you looked at someone and thought things like: How did they land that promotion above people who are more skilled?

Very often, people who are very confident seem to leap-frog over others who appear more deserving while some highly qualified and talented individuals never seem to achieve what they really should. 

You may think life is unfair, but the truth of the matter is that in most cases those people had the courage to believe in themselves and take action. Their fear of failure was outweighed by their desire to achieve the goal they had set for themselves.

You may know someone who seems happy and vibrant on the outside, yet always seems to make an excuse to avoid a social gathering because they are secretly afraid of failing in public. And that fear will paralyze them into having that social awkwardness forever until they find the strength to overcome it.

Love And Relationships Versus Fear

How many potential romances have failed because one or both partners have been too afraid to make the first move? How often have people sat back and watched as their love interest is seduced by someone else with better social skills and less awkwardness?

Lack of confidence can stop you from pursuing your goals or chasing your dreams. Self-deprecation is one thing, but a lack of self-esteem can seriously hold you back. From relationships to career prospects, confidence is vital to help you achieve happiness. This is not only about achieving far-flung dreams as a lack of confidence can affect every aspect of your life. 

For many, fear and anxiety can take over everything until completing normal tasks begin to seem impossible. Fear can also lead to long-term health problems like high blood pressure, panic attacks, headaches, insomnia, and difficulty concentrating.

It becomes a perpetual circle as the more you worry, the more you suffer the symptoms of fear and anxiety which cause further worry. Anxiety can create problems at work or in your personal life leading to more fear and doubt.

It’s important to remember that confidence is not a matter of chance and can be developed with some practice. We can learn to control our fears and develop a more positive mindset that can give us the chance to live the life we deserve.

Overcome Fear And Anxiety To Regain Your Confidence

We all have an inner voice that questions our decisions; uncertainty can develop into self-doubt which can soon grow into fear and even anxiety. Everyone deals with these doubts and fears in different ways but they can easily become overwhelming.

Some of us also experience a physical response such as increased blood flow and a surge of adrenalin that can lead to significant health issues over time.

Here are 15 ways to deal with fear and anxiety that can free your mind and relieve the physical signs of stress.

1. Exercise

Given that our physical response to fear stems from the fact that our bodies are preparing for a powerful physical battle, one of the best ways to combat fear and anxiety is to work off the adrenalin through exercise. 

Not only does this help release muscle tension, but exercise also releases happy endorphins that can counteract negativity and contribute to a more positive mindset.

2. Breathing Exercises

Anxiety can cause our breathing to alter as we take short, rapid breaths that keep our hearts pumping more quickly. By controlling our breathing and taking long, deep breaths, we can slow down our heart rate and bring a sense of peace to the whole body.

3. Relaxation

Linked to breathing exercises, taking time to allow each muscle in the body to tighten and relax helps to let go of unnecessary tension and free pain from the neck and shoulders, often improving tension headaches. 

4. Meditation

Calming the mind and emptying your head of thoughts and worries can have a hugely positive effect. If you free your mind of doubt and fear, you can control your reactions and maintain a sense of perspective that stops your fears from taking over.

5. Eat Healthily

Certain foods contribute to anxiety levels: caffeine in tea and coffee can increase nervous energy while too many sugary snacks can lead to sugar spikes followed by rapid dips which can leave you feeling lethargic and fed up. If your anxiety is linked to body image, feelings of self-doubt can increase after indulging in unhealthy foods. 

6. Avoid Alcohol

While a stiff drink might seem like a good idea when faced with emotional stress, too much alcohol can lead to a hangover which increases feelings of anxiety and stress. 

7. Talk to Someone

There is good sense in the old saying: “A problem shared is a problem halved.” When we try to deal with our problems on our own, we can very quickly become overwhelmed and begin to lose a sense of perspective.

Simply explaining the issue to someone else can help us feel stronger and the views of others could help us to see our problems more realistically. This might lead to helping us work out solutions. 

8. Herbal Remedies

Many people believe in the healing power of plants and there are some herbal remedies such as lavender that can be ingested or essential oils to add to a bath or infuser that can create feelings of relaxation. 

9. Keep a Diary

Sometimes, it can help to verbalize our emotions which is why talking to someone is often so beneficial. If you feel talking is a step too far, writing your feelings down in a journal can help you to get your emotions off your chest. Reading back over your diary can also help you understand yourself a little more and begin to see patterns of actions and reactions that emerge. 

10. Support Groups

You could be referred by your doctor or find an active group from local newspapers and the internet. Listening to others can help you feel less isolated, which is the first step in overcoming your lack of self-esteem. If attending a live group in person feels too much, you will probably be able to find some online forums or groups on social media.

11. See your Doctor

Many people feel reluctant to tell their doctor they are struggling but remember, they will never be allowed to share this information with anyone else. Not all doctors reach to medicate at the first chance and they may be able to direct you towards some techniques or support groups that will be of use. 

12. Face your Fears

If your anxiety is centered around something in particular, such as going outside or eating your lunch with your colleagues, try to force yourself to face that fear, even if only in baby steps. It can be helpful to enroll the support of a friend who won’t let you back down. 

Even if you only manage to complete your goal for a short time, it is still a win and the positive feelings that follow will help motivate you to try again and show you how powerful you can be.

13. Regain a Sense of Perspective

Our fears can grow to become even larger than the thing we fear. Stepping back and reminding yourself what is the worst that can happen can sometimes be helpful as even the most terrible outcome might not be as awful as the fear itself. 

For example, if the worst outcome is failing an exam or driving test, remind yourself you still have your home, health, and family, and could easily resit the test. So you might lose your job? It’s not the only job in the world. 

There are many stories of people who have gone through what they thought at the time was the most destructive experience possible, only to come out the other end with a new kind of life they enjoy even more than what they had before. 

14. Medication

If your problems are too far out of your own control, you might find it helpful to take some prescribed medication. Always follow your doctor’s advice precisely and make sure you keep in regular contact to keep your doctor up to date with any changes in your feelings or symptoms.

15. Explore Alternatives

When faced with nagging self-doubt, it is normal to sometimes feel out of control as though our fate is down to luck. Instead of “going with the flow”, taking time to think about a range of possible actions can help us realize how much power we really have. 

Try to look at the situation as though it is happening to someone else. Challenge yourself to come up with a number of different alternative actions and explore the different consequences of each one while thinking about the pros and cons of each. Writing this list down can give you even more perspective. 

This way, you can begin to feel that you are in control and you choose the action that you feel offers the best consequences. You might come up with an idea that helps you that you wouldn’t have thought of before.

15 Amazing Ways To Build Up Your Confidence

Confidence is not a talent but a skill that can be practiced, learned, and improved. Here are 15 tips to help you gain more confidence:

1. Dress Well

Even if you have issues with body image, making an effort to ensure you have dressed well and are well-groomed can make you feel instantly more confident. Treating yourself to some special items of clothing or accessories can give you an instant boost.

2. Like Something About Yourself

Find some things you really like about yourself and remind yourself of them throughout the day. It can help to write these things down. It may be something aesthetic like you have good hands or sparkly eyes, or it could be connected with your personality like you helped someone or gave someone a compliment. 

3. Positive Affirmation

Even if you have low self-esteem, repeating positive affirmations to yourself each morning and throughout the day can help you overcome feelings of doubt. 

Personal mantras such as “I am happy and strong” might seem odd to begin with, but you will be surprised how quickly you can convince yourself of how you want to be. 

Increase how often you repeat these mantras. If you think about how often your inner voice tells you something negative, you need to tell yourself something positive about twice as much.

4. Think Positively

As well as using mantras, try to list the positives in any situation. Every time you see a negative, try to list at least two positives to help turn your mindset around.

5. Use Visualisation Techniques

A technique common in sports psychology is to imagine yourself achieving your goals, picture what it looks like and try to focus on what it would feel like to perform whatever action it may be. The more often you do this, the more realistic gaining that success becomes.

6. Write Down your Goals

Make a list of your targets and divide it into short, medium and long-term goals. Reflect on your list often and think about what you can realistically achieve today, this week, or this month and work on it a step at a time.

7. Smile

Even when you don’t feel very positive, you can fool the world with a smile and before you know it your fake smile will become genuine. Good cheer spreads positivity, just as negativity breeds self-doubt. The happy interactions you generate from the people you meet will help to make you feel good.

8. Be Generous

Helping others can really boost your mood and your feeling of self-worth. Taking the time to offer a small compliment, give a friend a lift, or give some spare change to someone in need can help you see the good in yourself.

9. Be Prepared

Feeling anxious about a situation can take away any self-confidence you have. Avoid anxiety by being prepared for any eventuality. Get up earlier than you need to, have your clothes ready the night before, leave early to allow for the unexpected. 

This way, you can feel confident that you have given yourself the chance to perform at your best. 

10. Compliment and Thank Others

Whether it’s the girl at the checkout or your boss, take a moment to thank them for helping you out and offer a sincere compliment where you can. This could make their day which will, in turn, make you happy. 

They might also offer a compliment in return that can boost your self-esteem.

11. Stand Proud

Your body language tells others how confident you are but it can also have an effect on how you feel about yourself. Stand as tall as you can and keep your shoulders square, pushing your chest forward a little if you can. This confident stance helps you breathe deeply and gives you a sense of feeling in control. 

13. Breathe Deeply

Control your breathing, especially when you begin to feel the fear growing or worry you are losing some confidence. Take a moment to close your eyes and use a relaxation technique or visualization exercise to help you take control of yourself. 

This sense of empowerment will allow to take control of the task in hand and lead to even greater self-esteem.

14. Learn a New Skill

This doesn’t have to be something onerous. Knitting and sewing can be incredibly relaxing and your self-esteem will grow as you see tangible evidence of your achievements. If you aren’t very practical, learn about a topic that interests you. Learning to focus your mind will boost your esteem.

15. Get Organized

Decluttering can give you an enormous sense of empowerment. Keeping your workspace organized and neat not only improves your productivity but also makes you feel happier. The same is true about your home. 

You can also think about adding little touches like family pictures, items that matter to you, or even some air-fresheners that make your atmosphere a pleasant place to be. Finding joy in the little things in life can transform your mindset to make you ready to face anything.