Why You Shouldn’t Care What People Think Of You
The need to be acknowledged can get overwhelming sometimes. It happens to everyone. Every day, we look for validation from other people – what they think, what they would say. We find ourselves making decisions that don’t necessarily make us happy as long as it guarantees we are accepted by our peers. Over time, our true identity gets lost in a maze, and we start living lives sculpted by everyone else’s perceptions.
Is this you? Do you tread carefully when making resolutions just so you conform to the status quo? Do you stop putting your happiness first because you want to please others?
Well, you need to stop. It is pretty exhausting. You don’t need validation from people to live your life – except for some really close friends or family members who make sure you don’t do crazy things.
Other than that, living your life according to someone else’s script just doesn’t cut it. You become a spectator in your own world, the ripple effect of some other person’s actions. You also lose your boldness, and you become scared to take a stand on anything.
Don’t be that person, really.
You’re Not That Important.
Now don’t take this the wrong way. You’re unique and smart and everything, and you might feel no one else notices this except you. You’re right. Many times we judge ourselves even before others get to, and we go on for hours, days even, wondering how and why exactly they’re judging you. We live in a world where everyone’s practically busy, especially with the internet, school, work, and life in general.
You’d think when they get a second to settle down and reflect on their day, they’ll spend that time thinking about you? I highly doubt that. They’d rather revalidate their own selves. You should do so too.
A research conducted by the National Science Foundation shows that people on average has 25,000 or more thoughts every twelve hours. Now, if some random person dedicated their time to thinking about you five times daily, that’s just 0.01% of their total thoughts per day. Well, unless you did something that really hurt or affected them, I’m here to tell you they don’t actually think of you as often as you think they do.
But people really hate me.
You might be in a rut right now where you have to be in the same circle as people – at school, work, in groups or elsewhere – who have blatantly chosen to hate you publicly. Don’t let it get to you. In most cases, people who outwardly show negative emotions may be dealing with something themselves that they aren’t entirely handling effectively.
It shows when they propagate negative sentiments towards others, but deep down, they need help. If you see it from this angle, you’ll really stop having to conform or earn their likes. People like confident people. Don’t be a push-over and let people control your reactions just so they can validate you. Be confident.
The complete recipe for failure.
You set yourself up to fail when you continuously try to please people. You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT meet everyone’s expectations of you. People will always have these expectations from you and have opinions about you. Some will always judge you, no matter how nice you are to them.
The earlier you accept this, the faster you’ll actually stop caring about these opinions. You cannot stop them from having their own notions. What you can stop is letting their conceptions affect your life.
What’s the worst that could happen? You really think someone will pop out of the blue and say, “Hey, you suck for wearing this outfit?” or something else? If anything, your self-assurance to take a stand on your life’s choices will inspire other people, even if they don’t support it. Be expressive of your opinion without fear of judgment.
You need to evaluate your circle.
There’s a cool saying that we become the average of the individuals we associate with the most. Now, if your tightest circle of friends does not allow you to be original, push you to become a people-pleaser, or are even people-pleasers themselves, then you’re in the wrong place.
To grow, you need to surround yourself with a tribe of confident people who appreciate originality and have overcome similar weaknesses. Habits do rub off, so be influenced by the right people.
Growth goals.
Another way to overcome your weaknesses is by setting growth goals. Make a detailed list of every and anything that creeps you out or makes you feel insecure. Make a checklist you can tick out after you’ve achieved them. The lesser the number of things you have to worry about, the more confident you turn out to be. It is easier for confident people to stop needing validation and caring what other people’s opinions of them are.
If you would like some advice on how to become more confident, then make sure to check out our article here.
Find purpose.
A busy mind has no time to crave validation. Find something you believe in and work towards it. Keep yourself busy with your life goals. With time, you start caring less about what people think about you and more on the fantastic things you can achieve by dedicating your time to them. It could be a new skill.
It could be a career step. It could be overcoming a phobia or even a new relationship. The essence of finding purpose is honesty. When you’re true to yourself, you start to believe in yourself, and when you believe in yourself, you become unstoppable.
In summary, here are five nuggets to remember from this article:
- You become who you think you are.
- A handful of loving and supportive friends is better than a bunch of people you have to please to be accepted by.
- Be confident to take a stand on your decisions.
- Don’t be a push-over.
- Set growth goals.
Say this with me today: Today is the last time that I’ll care about someone else’s opinion of me and let it affect how I live my life.
Now, tell me that didn’t feel great?
No one has ever made a difference by living in fear of what other people think. Make a difference in your world today by challenging yourself to be fearless and unwavering in your decisions. Do the right things, and change the world while you’re at it.
After all, our main goal overall should be to find happiness …whatever your definition of that means.
