You have to want yourself before he will want you.

As a woman, you could be completely irresistible with a killer body and beautiful looks on the surface, but ultimately it’s going to come down to what’s underneath that counts the most. Being beautiful is much more than how many likes you get on social media or how many heads you turn when you walk down the street.

If you want to make any man, or more importantly “the right man”, want you — then you need to want yourself first. When you are comfortable in your own skin and you’re absolutely fine being alone then you will find this will be one of your greatest strengths. It’s what makes you truly independent and able to stand on your own two feet without being needy or desperate for a man’s attention.

Clear your mind of any negative preconceived stereotypes.

First and foremost — get this out of your head: Men are all dogs.

Not all men are dogs. I mean, some are dogs, but not all of them.  If you accept the idea that all men are liars and cheaters, then you’re convicting all of your potential significant others of crimes they have yet to commit. Also, this type of thinking only makes you angry, bitter, and frustrated when it comes to looking for a new partner.

The point is if you like men and you want to find a good one, you can’t have a negative attitude about it. Dating requires having an open mind, being patient, and considering all possibilities.

If you’ve been walking around with this negative perspective for a long time, make sure to read our article on how to retrain your brain whenever you get a chance — but for now, keep reading on. Let’s stay on topic.

However, if all the men you’ve dated have been duds, it could be you, not them. Let’s talk about some of the reasons you may be overlooking your next partner.

Most common reasons women can’t find a good man.

Many beautiful women have absolutely no problem finding themselves a boyfriend, but can’t seem to find a happy relationship or even keep a man. Other woman who may not be as attractive feel they have what it takes, but can’t even seem to get to first base. So what gives?

Well, it there’s some common flaws all women share when it comes to finding Mr. right and it doesn’t all have to do with looks. Let’s take a deeper dive at some things you may be overlooking.

You’re trying to turn a hookup into a boyfriend.

Unfortunately, hookup culture is the norm now. This means people value quick, impersonal relationships over long-term connections. The best way to avoid the hookup trap is to stop using apps and websites designed for it.

You won’t deviate from your “type”.

Let’s face it. If you’re having a hard time finding someone to date and you say you have a type, then you should probably change your type. When you stick to a “type,” you turn yourself off to great men that could be a little different from what you were expecting.

You’re holding out for the perfect man.

Perfectionism is the death of a relationship. I mean there’s no perfect man. It’s one thing to have standards, but it’s another to expect your potential partner to be completely free of baggage or places to improve. That’s just unrealistic. As long as your potential significant other is trying to improve himself, there’s nothing wrong with having a few flaws.

You don’t go out and/or you have bad social skills.

You’re never going to find a man if you never leave your house, because I don’t think you’re interested in dating the delivery guy. The best way to find someone you’re interested in is to go to places you’re interested in. You don’t have to go to bars or clubs, but you do have to go to local events, art exhibits, or even join the gym.

You’re not improving yourself.

No one’s asking you to be perfect, but if you think you are, then you’re badly mistaken. Sorry, but just like there’s no perfect man, you’re not perfect either. One of the best ways to attract a good partner is to focus on self-improvement. When you focus on yourself, your confidence will soar, and confidence is the sexiest thing you can put on in the morning.

Secrets you can use to make any man want you.

Now obviously there’s no magic formula and this isn’t going to make every man want you, but it will definitely increase the chances of the right man wanting you.

Make yourself more approachable.

There’s a huge gender split in larger cities and for the most part, women outnumber men greatly based on Colombia’s University paper. In other words, if you’re single and looking, stop pretending like men don’t have other options and you’re God’s gift.

Check your face sometimes and make sure you’re not suffering from the resting bitch face habit most attractive women wear intentionally or unintentionally.

Your attitude is incredibly important because it dictates what type of men will want to approach you. Not many men look forward to approaching a woman who seems like her face is going to hurt if she smiles for a bit.

If you want a guy to approach you, act like it. Crossing your arms makes you look like you’re in defense mode. Make eye contact with him and don’t look off in the other direction like there’s something so interesting on the floor over in the opposite direction. It basically signals for him to piss off.

Just try to look happy and don’t be afraid to smile while you’re alone if you’re going through your phone, reading, etc. If you look like you don’t want to be bothered then in most cases you’ll get your wish.

Stop thinking men are intimidated by your success.

If you’re a highly successful woman, you probably use a lot of masculine energy in the workplace. Most likely because you’ve always had to compete in a male dominated environment. Nothing wrong with that, however there are some men who are intimidated by a successful woman and other men who find it amazing.

Ultimately though, most men don’t want to be dominated by a woman — especially in a relationship. They prefer women who are kinder and at least a little more submissive.

On the flip side, most women want a more dominant man and if that’s you then you can see where there’ll be a conflict. If you’re more successful than him it can be even worse if you throw that in his face during a disagreement.

It’s okay to bring out your feminine side when it comes to dating. Take a break from being a lady boss and let him pick the time and place for your date. Men work hard too and the last thing he wants to come home to is another fight over dominance with his lady.

Don’t be blinded by good sex and confuse that with love.

Sometimes the sex is only good because he’s not bringing anything else to the table. If you find yourself accepting treatment you would ordinarily reject just because of the sex, it’s time to move on.

You deserve a respectful man, not just one who is good in the sack. Communicate this to him when you break it off and make him step up his game. If he’s serious about you then he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you.

Make him chase you.

Most guys are used to being the hunter and appreciate a little cat and mouse when it comes to dating, so long as it’s clear you’re interested. Sure, a lot of guys like a quick lay as well, but the right man will feel you’re worth the extra effort. Keep in mind this little cat and mouse game shouldn’t go on forever, it’s only to test his patience and for you to gauge his interest level.

Deny him a little bit.

Most people want what they can’t get and if you’ve positioned yourself as the rare priceless Ferrari instead of the used, old beat up hatchback then you’ll do better in the long run.

Let him know he’s going to have to work harder.

This communicates you’re interested, but at the same time, he’s going to have to give it some effort if he wants the prize. 

Make it clear you’re a high quality woman.

The right man doesn’t want a woman he can just walk all over. He’s going to want a woman who knows her worth. With that being said, if he ever assumes the wrong thing about you or gets out of line — make sure you check him right there on the spot. This doesn’t mean “lay him out” necessarily (unless he has truly disrespected you), but just let it be known where he went wrong with his assumption that you’re an easy lay, can be easily impressed by money, whatever.

Be a little mysterious.

Imagine your love interest knew for a fact that it was only a matter of time before you had sex with him. Don’t you think most guys would just do and say whatever they have to say up until that day? 

Try not to be so obvious with your emotions and intentions regardless of how attracted you are. Leave a little to the imagination. Let him know you’re interested, but try not to drool at his biceps, body, face or whatever it is that turns you on the most. Someone may as well interrupt your date and tell the guy “Spoiler alert — she’s gonna let you stay over in about a week or two”.

Realize your “book of non-negotiable deal-breakers” is unrealistic.

As women, we’re conditioned to date up.  This means we expect our men to be more successful than we are. Unfortunately, not only is this unrealistic, but it doesn’t work well for a long-term relationship.

If you’re jet-setting across the world, working late nights and early mornings, you need a man who can wake up and make you breakfast, not one who’s working even longer hours than you are!

That damn “perfect man check list” of yours will keep you single in the long run. You’re going to need to toss that and be excited about the men you meet; you will be surprised by the amount of intriguing men there are once you stop waiting for him to break one of your precious rules. Free your mind of that crap!

It’s important not to get discouraged if you have a string of bad luck when it comes to dating. As they say, you have to kiss a couple of frogs before you find your prince.

Rather than give up on dating, work on spending less time on hookup apps, keeping an open mind, and bettering yourself. The right man will come along, but you must be patient!